Daily Archives: December 24, 2005


Having moved into my own apartment over 2 weeks ago, I had been strongly encouraged to move my belongings out of my old room and into my new apartment. I had always thought that I could move them out slowly when I went home to visit my family, but they had other thoughts.

I went home tonight to pick up the mini-oven and whatever else the 2 of us could carry. I was not quite prepared to find all my remaining stuff already packed and waiting for me. I can understand the cold logic behind this: the dead has to make way for the living. Just as the living will dig up burial grounds and exhume the buried corpses to make room for the living to build their houses and workplaces, those who have their own apartment should move out and make room for those who are still living there. I can understand the logic, and their eagerness to take over my room, but still it hurts. I was not quite prepared for their eagerness.

WS was the main beneficiary, so I was not at all shy about letting him help to carry the many bags and boxes down to his car and bringing them over. I did help out, but I left the heaviest to him. He shook our hands and wished us a merry Christmas when everything reached our new apartment. I kept quiet. I wanted to say something like, “Shouldn’t you be saying thanks instead of merry Christmas?” But it was probably better that I kept my mouth shut. No point making things any worse.

Am I taking things too hard? Possibly. I had unselfishly given priority to my family where I had to make a choice. It just did not occur to me that priority would be given to someone else. It just was not something I would consider when I make my decisions. This is family after all. It is always difficult for a wife to get along with her mother-in-law, and I should not make it any harder by saying anymore than I already have.

My Little Miss Sunshine and I went out to buy some supplies after that, and on the way back to our home, I said, this is the only home I have now. That felt very real. I could really feel the “leaving and cleaving” right then. Against my will, but perhaps this is very necessary.

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